My sweet husband that had to deal with all my hormones!
Anyone that knows me while I am pregnant knows how hard my pregnancies are. Don't get me wrong I am so happy that I was able to have children because I do know all too well that it is a blessing that some may never experience. But for the first 4-5 months I am beyond ill. And that means not only nauseous, it means vomitting all day long. After the rough 5 months I start to feel some what better but then again shortly after comes the uncomftableness, the tiredness, the unable to sleep-ness, and all the fun stuff. Both of my deliveries have been amazing and to be honest uneventful (thank goodness) but the recovery....what a different story. After I had the twins I was so estatic. Not only did I have a healthy little 10 month old at home, I just had healthy twins at 37 1/2 weeks that were able to come home when I did. After much reserach and talking to many people, having twins that far along, alone is a blessing, let alone not having them to be in the nicu for longer than a day, and to be able to come home with me, almost a miracle. I remember leaving the hospital with David and the twinners at close to 11 at night. My dr's suggested staying with my parents for the next couple of weeks because of my intense delivery and what they called would be a "VERY rough recovery". My sweet mom watched Cole for me everyday while I was on bedrest and while I was in the hospital. We got to my parents house and Cole was already asleep and I just remember holding him and starting to cry. I felt terriable that I had not been able to put him to sleep and how much i missed him. I also felt a sense that I was taking "away" some of his much needed time with mom and dad by adding 2 new babies to the mix. Although this was not planned I still felt like it was my fault. I knew I was exhausted though and needed to get some sleep. The next day after LITTLE sleep with the twins, I woke up and the crying just would start. I remember my family asking me what is wrong, and I honestly didn't know. I just would cry cause it just came out. I did not resent my babies, the pregnancy, or anything like that. In fact it was quite the opposite, I remember being so excited to get up with them to look at them and feed these little babies. I loved being a mother and I had always dreamed of doing what I was doing, which was being a mom. After days and days of crying I think Dave as well as my parents decided I needed to get out of the house and do anything. I can honestly say, after you have a baby, PLEASE get out of the house by yourself for just a drink run to listen to music in the car by yourself. After visiting the Dr. we came to the conclusion that I did in fact have somewhat of the baby blues, although there was nothing sad or blue about it. After "fixing" all my hormoes, I was back to myself. So after having Cruz I knew what I was looking for. I remember sitting in the hospital by myself holding my little boy and thinking how amazing once again this was. He was perfect and my life was truly perfect and complete. I didn't think i was going to get the baby blues. After all I figured the first time I got them was being overwhelmed with having a 10 month old, having twins, and having a really hard recovery. But as soon as we got home the crying started for no reason at all, my poor sweet husband who just would hug me. I once again was completely fine after the hormones were all put back in order by my dr. I was always so worried my kids would resent the baby or babies in Cole's case and it has been quite the opposite. Cole, and the girls cannot get enough of Cruz. They are happier now that Cruz is here than they were before! I am sharing these stories, beacuse I do think that everyone focuses on the physical part and I do want to remember the emotional part, as well as every other aspect of this experience.
