{Time-Out}

The time out spot at our house is pretty much always occupied.  Some days I feel as though one child gets out and we are putting another child in time-out.  It seems as though we always have at least one child in time out and sometimes 2 kids in time out, (never do more than 2 because then they think it is a party, haha).  Anyways, after many a times in time out I finally figured I have perfected the time out, thanks to super nanny and figured I will share it if you are having a child that is lacking discipline, or doesn't stay in time out.

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Dave and I first started talking about the time-out situation when I was pregnant with the twins.  We thought, we are going to have 3 kids 10 months and younger and in about a year we are going to have a chaotic house, and there is no way that they can't not be disciplined.  Here is what has worked for us with our kids:

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-Make sure both you and your spouse are the disciplinarians.  Don't let one of you be the good guy and one be the bad guy.
-Have a set time out spot.  We have one time-out spot on the upper level and one in the basement.  This way I don't have to leave the children downstairs when I have to put one child in time-out.
-Make sure when you do choose a time out spot that it is not a place that you don't want them to like.  Example: the crib.  you don't want to associate where they sleep as a place that they feel they are in trouble.  They will soon resent the place and trust me the crib is not the place you want them to resent.
-Don't do empty threats.  All too many times you hear a parent say, "if you do that one more time we are going home."  But the child continues to do it, and the parent continues to say the same thing.  Pretty soon the kid will know that you are not going to follow thru.
-Don't yell.  This can be the hardest one for me.  When the whole Costco size of grapes are smooshed all over your main floor all you want to do is scream, but don't.  You don't want your kids to be scared, you want them to know that it was wrong. Use a stern voice and tell them exactly what they did and that it is not okay.
-Don't treat your kid like a dog.  When we were potty training the kids, I remember looking at several articles and in some of the articles it mentioned that if they do have an accident to basically put your kids face in their accident.  I couldn't believe it and I don't suggest doing that sort of thing in discipline.  {to read more helpful hints on potty training go here)
-Warning.  If we are wanting toys picked up or something that we have asked them to we give them a warning.  Not 2 or 3 just 1 warning.  After that I tell them I am going to count to 3 and if you still have not picked up your toys you will be going to time out.  1, 2,3.  If the toys are still not picked up I simply put them in time out.
-Steps for our successful time out:

-       Go down to their level

-       Make eye contact

-       Tell them they did something unacceptable

-        Explain why they are sitting there and to stay there until you come and get him

-        The length of the time-out is determined by their age: 1 minute X their age. A timer would be useful here and a visual indication for the child to watch the time go by. We use our microwave upstairs, and downstairs we kind of wing it, shhhhh.

-        At the end of the time-out, the child must apologize. We tell them to tell us why they are in time out.  They then tell us and give us a hug and kiss and if they hurt someone they have to tell them sorry and give them a hug and a kiss.

-   If they get out of time out we simply pick them up with no eye contact and put them back in time out. Sometimes we spend the whole time out doing this.  But they usually know and will just sit there quietly.

My last piece of advice is that you have to be CONSISTENT and don't forget that you sometimes need a time out too. Being a parent is HARD!